Discerning Faith

“Faith may seem stupid,
but it’s better than
being stupid!”

I love kitchen conversations. Catching up at the end of the day with one another, swapping stories and exchanging encouragements. Tonight, like so many others, Andrew and Sara let me process my day and verbalize my thoughts. They are so patient, wise and kind.

We talked about a conversation I had with my brother this morning where he lovingly exhorted me to be proactive about my job search. His experience and insight were wise and true, but I was having a hard time processing and accepting it. I knew he was right, but I was trying to reconcile his advice with the cloud of emotions and questions swirling in my head.

What is the difference between faith and laziness? When do you work hard and when do you rest? How do you be a good steward without stressing yourself out? At what point does God’s plan supersede effort? Does it matter how much we do if God already has a plan? How do I prioritize my own soul without neglecting my responsibilities? Yada, yada, yada…

And so I arrived at the following conclusions:

1) God has a perfect plan for my life and nothing I do (or don’t do) will derail it
2) God has given me the privilege of thinking and doing so that I can honor Him
3) I should be actively looking for doors God might be opening
4) As God reveals doors, I should knock on them
5) I can trust that God will provide in His time and in His way

As our kitchen conversation wrapped up tonight, I commented that I don’t always know the difference between faith and stupidity.

That’s when Andrew said, “Faith may SEEM stupid, but it’s better than BEING stupid.”

And I can’t really argue with that.

Don’t Step On The Momeraths

Just like every other human who has ever lived, I find that searching for God’s will is intense, challenging, overwhelming and confusing. There is so much advice to process and so many options to consider.

I thought of the clip from Disney’s “Alice In Wonderland” where the little Mome Rath creatures show Alice the way. They scurry into formation and take her to the path that will lead her home.

Brilliant! I WANT SOME MOME RATHS.

As I asked the Lord for these little pant-creatures, He brought to mind His promise of direction from Psalm 16:

“You have made known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

It doesn’t tell me where to apply for a job, but it does tell me where to find my life. My hope. My peace. The rest will come as I seek first the kingdom of God.

Lean not on your own understanding, Lydia. Seek Jesus. Lean on Him.

“Arise, my love…

“Arise, my love
my beautiful one
and come away.
For behold,
the winter is past;
the rain is over
and gone”

“Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away
For behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone
The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come,
And the voice of the turtle done is heard in the land.
The fig tree ripens its figs, and the vines are in blossom; they give forth fragrance.
Arise, my love, my beautiful one and come away
Let me see your face, let me hear your voice
For your voice is sweet and your face is lovely.”

–Song of Songs 2:10-14

When Jesus calls, it is not in angry demands. It is in sweet, relational tenderness. He meets me where I am. He gives me promises of hope. He speaks love over me. He calls me to beautiful places.

Redemption.
Delight.
Restoration.

Saying Goodbye

There are a lot of goodbyes in life.

Family. Friends. Bosses. Students. Children.
Dreams. Ideas. Opportunities.
Things you expected. Things you didn’t.

I’ve said a lot of those goodbyes in the past five years. Friends died of cancer. Some friends died in traumatic accidents. People in my church left bitter and broken. Those who stayed in my church have lost much. Friends have moved away. Friends have walked away. The deep sorrow of miscarriages. The deep horror of divorce. Suffering. Sacrifice. Physical pain. Emotional pain. Unexpected pain. My heart has been water-logged for all the brokenness in the world that I have seen, experienced and absorbed.

And then there are the goodbyes that you choose. Like leaving a job you love after eight years of fruitful ministry. And why leave? Because God so clearly said it’s time. It’s time to go, to grow, to do the next thing. To leave what has been hard, but familiar. It’s time to stretch out my eyes to the horizon and see the “grandeur of the grander scheme unfolding.”

Unfolding.
New life. New beginnings. All things new.

There’s a gaudy blue butterfly on my 2013 journal because it’s the symbol of this year. Miracles. Transformation. New beginnings. Unfolding. I didn’t want to buy that journal, much like I didn’t want to walk into the unknown.

But if Jesus is my life, I lose nothing by altering my earthly circumstances.
If Jesus is my life, I retain what is unchanging no matter how hard the goodbyes.
If Jesus is my life, I can face any challenge knowing that He will Shepherd my steps.
If Jesus is my life, it’s all going to be okay.

Now, here I am. Raising an “ebenezer.” A memorial. Taking a moment to commemorate the changing of seasons from something familiar to something entirely new. This summer I will be taking significant time off from life to travel, write, read and tend my soul. The overflow that will be here on this blog.

So, here’s another round of goodbyes. To interns, colleagues, friends, classes, events, teams, binders, maps, lists, files and half-completed ideas. To what has been a beautiful place where I have grown, loved, learned, spent and changed. And here’s to the next beautiful place, which will be full of good things.

“Just like the sunshine You have been our light
Leading us into beautiful places
We’ve walked through fire but You make us brighter
Leading us into beautiful places

Faithful Jesus, healing Savior
Compass, center, bread of life
Faithful Jesus, cherished treasure
Our portion, wisdom, God’s great light

My God you are here with us
Constantly here with us
You are our everything
Faithful and true”

–Charlie Hall, “Constant”