Everyone who blogs eventually writes a post about waiting it seems.

But tonight’s post is not an attempt at a brilliant theological treatise. Rather it’s just the late night thoughts of an ordinary person, tapped out on an old Macbook on a dimly lit porch.

We’re all waiting for something.

Boyfriend. Baby. Wife.  Job. Space. Promotion. Grades. Money. Retirement. Car. Healing. Provision. Attention. Success. Care. Opportunity. Recognition. Direction. Knowledge. Understanding. Focus. Freedom. Peace. Death.

In my recent experience, waiting makes me aware of the details. What used to be a happy blur of daily life is now sliced into bite-sized increments of analytical delight. Each word, action, conversation, coincidence is a divine message of some sort. We dissect and pour over each facet.

Half the time, the verdict is “YES! THIS IS CONFIRMATION!” I see the hand of God, can trace the work of the Holy Spirit and receive the comfort of the Savior. This kind of waiting is like following a trail of breadcrumbs.

The other half of the time I just see the space in between the breadcrumbs. My lack and need and desperation scream out in the void, deafening me with their calls of unbelief. I so want the next morsel of truth, of light, of hope. I reach out my hand and grope in the dark, hoping for something true to hold on to.

And you know what? There’s always another breadcrumb. There’s always Jesus, just within reach, holding onto me, making sure I don’t ever fall.

Sometimes I try to figure out the waiting game. But this is impossible. There is no pattern, no rhythm, no guarantee of how long it will last or who we’ll be on the other side. We just wait. Wait for the guidance or the provision or the thing we so desperately need. It can seem like an unsolvable puzzle with constantly changing variables. Our minds go crazy seeking for an answer.

But at the end of the day, we don’t wait for an answer. We wait for GOD HIMSELF.

Our earthly desires are only meant to make us long for the God who created us, they are but lights along a footpath that leads us to our heart’s satisfaction. We crave guidance and safety and love because we long for the Father who provides these things for our soul.

And God always delivers on His promises.

God the Father sent His Son, Jesus, to the earth to be our greatest, deepest, truest provision. We were dead in our sins, hell-bent and self-destructive. We needed to be rescued. So Jesus exchanged His life for ours, letting God punish Him instead. He freed us. He bought us safety. He gave us love. He gave us Himself.

You see, if God met our greatest need, how will He not also meet all of our lesser needs? (Romans 8:32)

But I don’t like waiting for those lesser needs to be fulfilled in God’s timing. It seems so inefficient. Couldn’t we just get marching orders and supplies and be on our way?

Waiting makes me dependent. It saves me from being spiritually clumsy by attempting life on my own terms and with my own limited understanding. If I would just wait for the Lord, I can lean on Him to be everything I need.

Oh that our waiting would make us crave Jesus! Wait for Him, soul. He is the One you desire. And He will come. And you will not be disappointed.

(This song has summed up both my soul’s state and my soul’s prayer many times…)